The Beach or the Mountain? Why Rest Doesn't Look the Same for Everyone

You know that moment on holiday when you're "supposed" to be relaxing... but you're not?

I hear this a lot from clients or friends. Someone stretches out on a beach chair with a book, and instead of feeling calm, they feel restless — like they're wasting the day. Someone else plans a six-hour hike up a mountain, and their partner looks at them like they're crazy. "That's not a holiday, that's a workout."

Here's the thing: neither of them is doing it wrong. They just haven't figured out their own relaxation style yet.

Rest isn't one thing

We grow up with this picture of what relaxing "should" look like — lying down, quiet, slow, no decisions to make. But not everyone's mind and body switch off that way. Some people genuinely recharge through stillness. Others need to move — hike, swim, dance, sweat it out — until their head finally goes quiet.

Both are real rest. What matters isn't what you're doing, it's what it does for you. Does it let you switch off? Does your mind stop performing and just... be?

The problem starts when we borrow someone else's version of rest — our partner's, our family's, what everyone posts on Instagram — and then feel guilty when it doesn't work for us.

The lesson

Your relaxation style is personal, and it's worth actually paying attention to, the same way you'd notice any other pattern about yourself. Not "what am I supposed to enjoy" but "what actually leaves me lighter."

Sit with this one before your next break:

When I picture really coming back to myself... is it through slowing all the way down, or through moving until my mind finally stops?

There's no right answer. But once you know yours, you plan differently — and you carry a lot less guilt while doing it.

If this question stirred something bigger than just holiday planning — if it's really about how you rest, recharge, or show up for yourself in general — that's exactly the kind of thing we can dig into together. Book a coaching session and let's explore what real rest looks like for you, on holiday and beyond.